He's an infamous pirate from my world, killed a bunch of people, was insane. Anyways, I met him but didn't believe that's who I was talking to on the network. People lie. Whatever.
So when I told him I didn't believe him, he told me his name was Jeff. So then I called him Jeff and he threatened to eat my eyeballs.
Well, threatening eyeball cannibalism doesn't make him who he says he is, but I don't quite understand why you'd assume it's a lie either. I've met all sorts here, myth and legend alike. Only very rarely can they provide any proof of it but at the least it can inform your opinions.
E.g. A fellow claiming to be a notoriously insane murderous pirate is probably still an insane murderer, regardless of notoriety or current pirate status.
In any case, I've taught daintier than you to fight far worse threats than him. When would you like to begin?
ok so first he told me he's Blackbeard and i was like "no way who are you really" and he was like "Jeff" and he called me a Dickfuck, so i called him a Twatwaffle, and then he was like "what's a waffle?" And so i ordered him some waffles and said "Jeff i feel sorry for you!" Cause waffles are good.
And then he was like "I'm gonna eat your eyeballs!"
Then he was like "Blackbeard isn't mortal" and "I was the god-king of a cannibal tribe once"
ANYWAYS
I've got enchanted safety glasses that'll blast whoever tries to take them off. But... learning more self defense seems useful even without the threat of having my eyeballs eaten.
You believe nothing he's said except that he is capable of, planning on, and actively desiring to eat your eyeballs. Which sounds like a hyperbolic threat (eyeballs are disgusting) but also one that probably never would have been made had you been willing to use the name he gave for himself. Belief in the claims aside.
I can teach you to fight but I can't teach self preservation, you know.
Honestly I don't know what to believe but I don't want him to just fucking jump me and try to eat my eyeballs.
I mean... I went to go get the waffles cause I thought he wouldn't deserve them. He didn't. He was stabbing one of them into his fucking doorframe and the other one he was chewing on, he spat at me.
I don't remember asking you to teach me self preservation, Trevor.
ALSO! There's a guy going around being called JESUS and I don't know if I believe that, either?!
Jesus is a lovely fellow who doesn't claim to be the christ child. It's one of those 'a fondly teasing nickname stuck' situations, from what I gather. He's given me permission to use whichever I prefer because "Jesus" just felt very silly to me, so I do call him by his birth name. It's Paul.
Is he? I've never met him. To be honest, I was kind of... I didn't know...
The idea of meeting ACTUAL Jesus is more terrifying to me than meeting Blackbeard and I don't know what that says about me as a person but... I never really know what to believe, okay?
But I'll take your word for it and maybe... maybe I'll talk to 'Paul' sometime.
Weird if he is, weird if he isn't, you didn't believe that he might be and you're reluctant to accept that he's not... there's simply no winning with you, Gokudera. Fuss fuss fuss.
I have no idea why I find it so endearing. Where shall we meet for lessons?
Who told you he was The Jesus? Even the finder uses his birth name and we're mere acquaintances but I've never seen or heard him claim to be godly, so it would have been very quick for you to realize on your own if you ever met him. Or simply went looking.
I know several. To make it easy, how about the Arcane Sanctuary? I can borrow the keys from Dorian.
Vrenille told me he knew Jesus, and I asked if he was actually The Jesus, but... Vrenille isn't from the same world as me and I guess he thought it was amusing to just... let me take his word? I was new and didn't even know about the finder and I wasn't going to look Jesus up on there anyways. And, look... do we have to keep talking about this? I feel bad enough already...
I work there as maintenance for him. We can meet there.
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doesitanyway) wrote2021-07-21 09:08 pm
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So when I told him I didn't believe him, he told me his name was Jeff. So then I called him Jeff and he threatened to eat my eyeballs.
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E.g. A fellow claiming to be a notoriously insane murderous pirate is probably still an insane murderer, regardless of notoriety or current pirate status.
In any case, I've taught daintier than you to fight far worse threats than him. When would you like to begin?
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And then he was like "I'm gonna eat your eyeballs!"
Then he was like "Blackbeard isn't mortal" and "I was the god-king of a cannibal tribe once"
ANYWAYS
I've got enchanted safety glasses that'll blast whoever tries to take them off. But... learning more self defense seems useful even without the threat of having my eyeballs eaten.
I'd like to starts as soon as possible.
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You believe nothing he's said except that he is capable of, planning on, and actively desiring to eat your eyeballs. Which sounds like a hyperbolic threat (eyeballs are disgusting) but also one that probably never would have been made had you been willing to use the name he gave for himself. Belief in the claims aside.
I can teach you to fight but I can't teach self preservation, you know.
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I mean... I went to go get the waffles cause I thought he wouldn't deserve them. He didn't. He was stabbing one of them into his fucking doorframe and the other one he was chewing on, he spat at me.
I don't remember asking you to teach me self preservation, Trevor.
ALSO! There's a guy going around being called JESUS and I don't know if I believe that, either?!
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Jesus is a lovely fellow who doesn't claim to be the christ child. It's one of those 'a fondly teasing nickname stuck' situations, from what I gather. He's given me permission to use whichever I prefer because "Jesus" just felt very silly to me, so I do call him by his birth name. It's Paul.
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The idea of meeting ACTUAL Jesus is more terrifying to me than meeting Blackbeard and I don't know what that says about me as a person but... I never really know what to believe, okay?
But I'll take your word for it and maybe... maybe I'll talk to 'Paul' sometime.
Feels weird to know he's not actually Jesus...
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I have no idea why I find it so endearing. Where shall we meet for lessons?
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I was willing to believe he was actually Jesus because someone I trust told me so. It's not that I'm reluctant to accept that he isn't.
I guess I'm just a little hurt and confused...
Tch-! Good to know that everyone's getting a good laugh at me.
I don't want weapons or powers involved so anywhere with enough room for it. But... relatively private. Do you know any places like that?
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I know several. To make it easy, how about the Arcane Sanctuary? I can borrow the keys from Dorian.
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I work there as maintenance for him. We can meet there.
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Give me about half an hour, I just need to grab a few things.
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Sure. Take your time.