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[doesitanyway]

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[doesitanyway]

I'm sure you've had some worthwhile chats, but 'fun to talk to' isn't something I've ever been accused of before.

[bakudan_bambino]

I think you're fun to talk to, Trevor

[doesitanyway]

Well now I shudder to think what your previous conversation partners must have been like.

[bakudan_bambino]

well... a lot of people just kind of ignore or dismiss me

[doesitanyway]

Very rude. Why do you think that is?

[bakudan_bambino]

Maybe because they think the threat is real, or they think I'm just a stupid kid or they don't want to be approached by a stranger through the network, or they're having a bad day and the 'sex bomb' is just one more thing they're feeling pressure from? Or maybe they don't know how to take a compliment, or are assuming I'm actively hitting on them.

I'm sure they have their reasons. I try not to take it personally.

[doesitanyway]

Wait, you meant here? You just told me you were having fun meeting new people this way.

[bakudan_bambino]

Yeah! But not every response has been a good one. I've met three people I've never interacted with before and they've been nice.

But that's three out of nearly fourty so far...

[doesitanyway]

I won't lie to you, I really don't like those odds for myself considering how much more personable you are.

[bakudan_bambino]

No one's ever called me personable before

[doesitanyway]

You can't be serious. I've been here for years and the only person I'd say was more enthusiastic to make random friends is Vash. Who, oddly enough, also insisted on feeding me dessert.

[bakudan_bambino]

I'm not 'enthusiastic to make random friends' it's just that... I've never really needed other people before, and given that I've lost some... It would be beneficial to have others I can count on, or at least seek help or guidance from.

I just seem enthusiastic because I'm trying to make the best of a bad situation. Doesn't mean it's bad for everyone and if you don't want to meet new people, that's your business.

I'd also not like to suffer a brain injury (even though I don't believe that will happen).

[doesitanyway]

It's not that I don't want to meet new people, it's that I don't trust myself (or them, I'm not the only asshole around here) to not wind up having a series of unpleasant interactions.

Regardless:

What sort of help and guidance is it you're looking for, Gokudera? Tell me.

[bakudan_bambino]

I’ve had plenty of unpleasant interactions. They’re as common as bad days and the only way to get through them is to just push through them, y’know?

From you? In regards to…?

[doesitanyway]

I suppose. But I'm a cynical bastard who'd rather not deal with it.

In general, from whoever it is you come to know. Me in particular only if there is anything.

[bakudan_bambino]

that’s alright

Currently I’m trying to learn more self defense to protect my eyeballs from getting eaten by some weird pirate.

[doesitanyway]

Well I'm glad I asked, as I can certainly help with that. But I do have questions about the eyeball pirate. What the fuck?

[bakudan_bambino]

You ever heard of Blackbeard?

[doesitanyway]

I'm afraid not.

[bakudan_bambino]

He's an infamous pirate from my world, killed a bunch of people, was insane. Anyways, I met him but didn't believe that's who I was talking to on the network. People lie. Whatever.

So when I told him I didn't believe him, he told me his name was Jeff. So then I called him Jeff and he threatened to eat my eyeballs.

[doesitanyway]

Well, threatening eyeball cannibalism doesn't make him who he says he is, but I don't quite understand why you'd assume it's a lie either. I've met all sorts here, myth and legend alike. Only very rarely can they provide any proof of it but at the least it can inform your opinions.

E.g. A fellow claiming to be a notoriously insane murderous pirate is probably still an insane murderer, regardless of notoriety or current pirate status.

In any case, I've taught daintier than you to fight far worse threats than him. When would you like to begin?

[bakudan_bambino]

ok so first he told me he's Blackbeard and i was like "no way who are you really" and he was like "Jeff" and he called me a Dickfuck, so i called him a Twatwaffle, and then he was like "what's a waffle?" And so i ordered him some waffles and said "Jeff i feel sorry for you!" Cause waffles are good.

And then he was like "I'm gonna eat your eyeballs!"

Then he was like "Blackbeard isn't mortal" and "I was the god-king of a cannibal tribe once"

ANYWAYS

I've got enchanted safety glasses that'll blast whoever tries to take them off. But... learning more self defense seems useful even without the threat of having my eyeballs eaten.

I'd like to starts as soon as possible.

[doesitanyway]

Let me get this straight.

You believe nothing he's said except that he is capable of, planning on, and actively desiring to eat your eyeballs. Which sounds like a hyperbolic threat (eyeballs are disgusting) but also one that probably never would have been made had you been willing to use the name he gave for himself. Belief in the claims aside.

I can teach you to fight but I can't teach self preservation, you know.

[bakudan_bambino]

Honestly I don't know what to believe but I don't want him to just fucking jump me and try to eat my eyeballs.

I mean... I went to go get the waffles cause I thought he wouldn't deserve them. He didn't. He was stabbing one of them into his fucking doorframe and the other one he was chewing on, he spat at me.

I don't remember asking you to teach me self preservation, Trevor.

ALSO! There's a guy going around being called JESUS and I don't know if I believe that, either?!

[doesitanyway]

You certainly didn't ask that of me, no.

Jesus is a lovely fellow who doesn't claim to be the christ child. It's one of those 'a fondly teasing nickname stuck' situations, from what I gather. He's given me permission to use whichever I prefer because "Jesus" just felt very silly to me, so I do call him by his birth name. It's Paul.